Most of us won't ever have to relive our breakups, but Bachelorette star Tayshia Adams does every time she settles in to watch her season with friends. This week, she sent fitness coach Ben Smith packing after he was unable to articulate his feelings for her, and it definitely brought up some emotions for the reality star.
"All I have to say are these Bachelor episodes, or should I say Bachelorette episodes, have me feeling some type of way," she shared on the Click Bait with Bachelor Nation podcast, co-hosted by Joe Amabile. "It's very emotional watching these things back, and reliving these feelings. I may have taken one too many shots, or drank a little bit too much wine, I don't really know. I was definitely in my feels."
While Joe said that he, too, was frustrated by Ben's behavior, Tayshia teased that the story isn't over yet—likely further fueling fan speculation that Ben returns to the show in order to sweep Tayshia off her feet. Fans pointed to the fact that promo footage in which Ben seemingly declares his love for Tayshia has yet to be aired.
Tayshia shared, "There are still things that are going to happen that you guys have no idea about, and it's going to throw everything in a loop."
No matter what happens with Ben, though, Tayshia said that their final conversation before parting ways was extremely difficult.
"I remember those feelings at the time, when I was just sitting on the bench and I was like, 'Show me something. Do you care at all about me? Is this meaningful towards you? Is this just how you treat every girl?' I just needed a little sense of validation and I didn't have any of that," she said. "I felt like, I was hoping that him seeing his family would be what he needed in order to vocalize that. I'm not saying 'Oh my God pour your heart out to me and tell me you love me in order to stay here.' I'm just saying, give me something."
While some fans criticized Tayshia for not giving Ben enough time to come around, the 30-year-old said there was a reason she may have seemed a little cold.
"I had no emotions which is kind of weird because you've seen me cry now," she explained to Joe. "I think when I start getting defensive, slash protecting myself, I just completely shut down and it's fight or flight mode. I'm going to protect myself, I'm not going to let myself feel any more things, because I don't want to get hurt. So that's why you've seen me shut off."
While it's possible that Ben returns to the show, former Bachelorette lead Rachel Lindsay isn't so sure he should.
On her podcast Bachelor Happy Hour, Rachel told co-host Becca Kufrin, "Ben 1,000 percent wants to be The Bachelor," even comparing him to her ex Peter Krause, who didn't want to propose during her season of The Bachelorette.
Clearly, there's more to learn about Ben and Tayshia's relationship...and it sounds like there's an emotional journey still to come.