Warning: this article features mentions of eating disorders.
Alix Earle is opening up about a difficult time in her life.
The TikToker recently got vulnerable about the unhealthy relationship she developed with food—ultimately leading to a binge eating disorder. She explained, despite how she had no problems with food growing up, it was when she saw the girls in her high school go on extreme diets that her perception began to shift.
"They were paying thousands of dollars for these diets," Alix explained on the Oct. 5 episode of her podcast Hot Mess with Alix Earle. "And in my mind, I knew that this wasn't normal at first but after watching their habits and watching them lose weight and watching them be so satisfied over this, it became more normalized for me. It was a very, very toxic environment when it came to girls' relationship with food. I went from someone who had a very healthy relationship with food very quickly to someone who did not."
For the 22-year-old, this included smaller lunches and skipping meals before big events like prom, eventually turning into bulimia, in which she would purge food after overeating.
"I was just so obsessed with this dieting culture," she recalled. "I went down such a bad path with myself and my body and my image. And I started to have this sort of body dysmorphia. I would look in the mirror and I would see someone way bigger than the person that I was, and I couldn't grasp why I was never happy with the image that I saw."
Alix explained how she was able to curb her purging habits, "I thought, 'Okay well maybe if I can't say this out loud, maybe I shouldn't be doing this.' So I knew I needed to stop, and I did. I stopped making myself throw up." But she said she continued to not eat enough and fast before big events.
However, things took a turn for the better when she began college at the University of Miami, crediting the friends she made there with helping her overcome her eating disorder. In fact, Alix recalls her friends stepping in after she expressed disbelief over their more comfortable relationship with food.
"They were like, 'Alix, you know that's not healthy, that's not okay,'" she remembered. "'That's not normal for you to think that or do that or restrict yourself from those foods, like that's not healthy.' And I was just so appreciative at the fact that I had girls telling me that like it was okay to eat, and we weren't all going to be competing with our bodies."
So, Alix took their lead. "I started to just kind of follow these new girls in college over time those thoughts went away," she continued. "Not completely but you know over time I would think about it less and less I've seen how much healthier and happier I am, and I'm so so grateful for the girls that I'm friends with who helped me get over this and who let me talk about it openly with them without them judging me."
The influencer is now in a much better place.
"I'm able to be at this great place now with food where I don't really think about this at all," Alix noted. "I eat what I want to eat, and that has me in such a better place and in such better shape. And my body is so much healthier than it ever was."
Having overcome her unhealthy relationship with food, she wants to help others struggling in a similar way.
"I really hope," she said, "that this can help at least one person who's struggling with this. or who has struggled with this, and just know that it can get better."