Joan Vassos is allowing herself to feel every emotion—even the not-so-golden.
The Golden Bachelor contestant put her grandchildren first by self-eliminating on the ABC dating show's Oct. 12 episode after her daughter gave birth. But now, she's getting emotional on her decision to give up her second chance at love with Gerry Turner.
The 60-year-old recently shared an Instagram video of herself in bed with a box of tissues, lip syncing to the audio, "I had a little cry earlier and I had a big cry last night, but I'm not crying now and I think for that, I'm doing so well."
As Joan wrote in the Oct. 17 clip, "When someone asks me what it was like to be on The Golden Bachelor."
While she said she has "all the feels" after watching the episode, Joan is looking forward to her golden future. She added in the caption, "Here's to whatever comes next."
Another video on Instagram showed how the private school administrator is officially closing the rosy chapter, as she unpacked her suitcase from the mansion and wrote, "Reliving my golden moments one last time."
On The Golden Bachelor last week, Joan revealed that she needed to go home because her daughter's birth experience "wasn't a normal, everyday delivery at all."
"Things go wrong, and even if everything went right, you need your mom," she shared. "My family will always be first. Once you become a mom, you're always a mom, even when your kids are older. Nothing is more important."
While Gerry expressed his "disappointed" to end their courtship, he noted, "There's a moral compass that we both share and sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest."
After the episode aired, Joan gave an update to assure fans that her loved ones are in good health.
"A huge thank you to everyone expressing their concern for my family," Joan wrote on her Instagram Stories Oct. 12. "It's a privilege to be a mom to four amazing kids and a grandmother (they call me Jojo) to two beautiful grandchildren. But once a mom, always a mom and sometimes the timing doesn't work out with finding love."
She added that "everyone at home is doing great" and expressed hope that "one day I will get the chance at love again."
Read on for everything to know about The Golden Bachelor, airing Thursdays on ABC.